No, I do not “need” that. There’s a reason I left my shopping cart without actually making a purchase. I’m not even subscribed to your emails, again, for a fucking reason. Fuck you Morphe, for pulling the same shit, don’t send me daily emails reminding me to buy bullshit. And fuck you Netflix, a big fuck you, how is it that I can unsubscribe from your emails, and cancel my account and you STILL send me the oh so exciting new releases.
I get it, companies want to make money and retain customers. But fuck am I frustrated with this blatant manipulation. The difficulty in retraining consumer habits is underestimated. Retraining those habits as a naturally impulsive person, with the constant bombardment of advertising…kill me now.
At least it’s become a source of anger, rather than an actual “reminder” to go buy whatever random thing I need absofuckinglutly do not need. Each day it becomes more apparent that this is a non-linear process, and each day I’m accepting this and while it’s frustrating, I’m being kind to myself. There’s no sense in berating myself for slipping up, I may as well graciously accept it, critically look at it, rectify it if possible, and do my best to stick with my values in the future.
Makeup and beauty stuff(lotions, perfume etc.) have historically been my week spot. Thank god I don’t wear lipstick… All those things suck me right in, so pretty, so shiny, smelling so lovely. I’m slowly but surely selling all my high-end stuff, and working my way one by one through perfumes and whatnot. The goal is to minimize my makeup and the routine that goes with it. The cluttered bathroom counters, the full drawers, and then the shoebox in the closet full of makeup…not nessecary.
I’m torn between morning creativity, time managment and decision making fatiuge. I do truly love being creative with makeup, I get actual joy from it. I also think I can get that same joy and creativity from less. I counted eyeshadow a bit back, 81 if memory serves me well. out of those, there are ~30 that I actually like and will use, and in that 30, maybe 6 that get true regular usage. So they can go. Chances are I can be totally happy with one little $5 cruelty-free, drugstore palette to replace hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of flashy clunky chunky “high-end” palettes. That $40 blush…how about a $4 dupe?
But, time, and decision making fatigue. Do I really have time to putter around for 30 mins doing makeup in the morning? honestly, no, I have far more pressing things to do. 30 minutes of creative makeup can be saved for the weekends, for fun time after responsibilities. Is it unconsciously exhausting me to make so many morning decisions, I shouldn’t be choosing between 5 mascaras. There should just be one that does the job each day. I can have a cycling basic look, use a few colours, different blush for a week, switch it up the next week. But do the same thing each day. It’ll save time and brain energy!
With that said! I still have to fight against impulsivity. I don’t want to fill up my makeup area with new frugal options before using up things I need to use, or selling off the expensive stuff. At this moment I’m writing because I caught myself getting dressed to head to Walgreens, to buy 1 specific replacement, then caught myself thinking about what else I could possibly get. Obviously not the time for purchasing things.
There was also an incident the other day. I found a bunch of receipts and did a tour, returning around $500 of stuff to Costco, Sephora, kohls and rite aid. And yet, I managed to walk out of Sephora with $39 of shit I liked. My return was $45. I basically returned stuff and immediately replaced it. Needless to say, I didn’t even open it when I got home, it sits at the front door for returning. Same with kohls. Why did I look at the clearance beauty section? I was only there to return! I had to walk clear across the store to look at the beauty stuff. I left with a nice little bundle of SUCH GREAT DEALS. Yeah, whoops. They are also in a bag at the front door to go back.
So, a plan is needed for these moments. And acknowledgment is needed for past success. When I return things that is all I will do. If I need to get food at Costco, and do a return. They will be two separate trips, the gas is wasteful, but mentally I need separation between minimizing and purchasing. I now am recognizing these patterns, the flaws, the impulsivity.
It seems within reach to gradually undo this consumer mind.
Bye Bye Bullshite 